Ah, okay. Thanks!

ABOUT THIS: So, she (you) only posted parts of the story two times, but commented a whole lot about it. (You (she) started on page seven, then didn't do anything until 13, then stopped, but I still went through each page, so you should be happy! Also, going through 21 pages of comments only took me about 35 minutes, which was shorter than I thought.:) So, the third and last paragraphs are the actual story, the rest is just explaining about what is happening, and probably other random stuff. Also, the stuff in () isn't the actual story part. Hopefully this is what you wanted and isn't to hard to read. I already delated some unnecessary things in it, (like Dessie talking to Riley) but there might be a lot of it, and I don't know what each of you would want to know.)

(I started yet ANOTHER one about dragons living on other planets. But i think i just need to buckle down and write. I have been so busy the only time i can write is before bed, on my almost filled 16 notebooks, but i have accidently been staying up too late writing! so yeah...anyone can draw their own conclusions. by the way, the dragon story is about a young dragon prince, Comet, who lives on Mars and then is kidnapped by his evil cousin Woecllaw and taken to Venus where their lives huge fire dragons. long story short, he ends up on Earth and meets Hasty, a earth dragon who can help him get back to Mars. Thats the short version:) and this is a hurried comment. By the way, MERRY CHRISTMAS! LATE! :)
(The dragons on other planets are different from the dragons on earth... they don't need oxygen. Actually, when Comet finds himself on earth Hasty has to get his back to Mars soon because Mars dragons arn't used to an atmosphere. Comet can't fly back for a while because his wings need to heal. And besides- he doesn't know the way.
I got this idea from looking at toy dragons in a catalog. Then i just started thinking of names for them all (Comet, Woecllaw, Hasty, so on.) And then i happened to be thinking of outer space and thought up the idea of dragons on other planets. Then everything just...fell into place. and after two tries i finally got to where i am now. i'm pretty happy with it, but i dont know how long i can focus on it.)
Bethy S,
i think i will take your idea of having a document where my story ideas are listed!
SIGH. i am trying to focus on one story. I KNOW i need to finish them.
i do plan on explaining that, and the reason they get fire. Okay, so the reason the dragons can breath fire is a sort of long complicated reason. Before i read Bethy's comment i had been puzzling over that very question myself. Wondering how i could make it that they breathed fire. and after long thought, i decided upon this crazy impossible solution. here goes...they get their fire from the sun. I'm not sure how... but i can think about that.)

a A bit from my dragon story : Comet discovers water
"Whats that shiny blue stuff?" questioned Comet. Hasty glanced over to where the other dragon was gazing. "It's called water. We earth dragons drink it to survive." "I'm going to look at it." Comet announced. He strode over to the pool and glanced at it. Then he leapt back, startled. "Oi oi! Hasty, there is another dragon trapped inside!" "No, no!" Hasty laughed. "Thats you!" "Me? but I'm standing right here!" Comet glared at Hasty. "I see nothing funny about this. you are clearly out of your head." Hasty, still chuckling at Comet's apparent shock, replied, "Its called your reflection. see, the water is showing you how you look. its not another dragon, its you!" Comet took a cautious step forward and again peered into the water. "See?" Hasty chuckled. "It moves when you move. it lifts its leg when you lift yours." "So i see." muttered Comet. "Try drinking it." encouraged Hasty. Then, in a lower voice so the other dragon couldn't hear, "This ought to be a lot of fun." Comet dipped his head into the water cautiously, then instantly jerked it up again, sputtering and coughing. Hasty laughed. "Its like melted rock, you dummy! you dont put your nostrils in it!" Comet was still too busy snorting through his nostrils to get the water out. "I'm...not...sputter, cough, touching... that... stuff again!" Hasty laughed "you'll have to learn to drink it if you're staying here!" Comet's face grew more serious. "I-i'm not sure if i can. see, this, this, 'atmosphere' as you called it, is too thick for me. i don't think i could survive here for too long,"

(@Bethy i am not entirely sure what antagonist is but i think it means like the badguy? if so then it is Comet's cousin Woecllaw. Comet lives on Mars. Yes, Hasty lives on earth. and when Comet and Hasty first meet Comet is unimpressed because Hasty seems so weak and small compared to himself. But his freind Neptune (who does not live on the planet Neptune, but the planet Venus) tells him that Hasty can help him out in his battle against Woecllaw because the Hasty is so brilliant. Woecllaw is like the main badguy, but he recruited the dragons of Venus to help him in his scheme to steal the throne from Comet's father Meteor. he also has two dragons who help him out (Forest and Jungle) but they never get his instructions right and end up spoiling his plans. XD But Comet has the same problem with his best friend Alien who tries his hardest but always gets Comet's instructions mixed up.)
(@Bethy
Woecllaw was raised and named by his evil uncle. He keeps Forest and Jungle because Jungle is very intimidating if he isn’t clever, and Forest will go with Jungle his brother anywhere. Woecllaw has an unnamed general helping him in secret though, and no one knows who or where he is. (So, not to spoil Woecllaw’s plans, I wont say either XD) Woecllaw’s ultimate goal is to take over the whole galaxy, including Earth, but he is starting with Mars. Woecllaw rules nothing yet, but he desperately wants to rule.
Comet drinks and eats rock. The fire problem solved is this, tis a different sort of fire because it can melt rock quickly for dragon food. Since they are a different species, they can drink melted rock and eat rock all right.)

Alien hung his head. “I’m sorry, Comet.” He said in a small voice. “Don’t be too hard on him.” Hasty said. “It was an accident.” “I KNOW.” Comet said, irritated that Hasty should be telling him what to do. “It’s all right, Alien, I forgive you this time.” Then he spread his wings and flew away with a huff. The two dragons stared after him for a moment. “Boy, I’m really sorry Hasty.” Alien said. “I didn’t mean too.” “Aw, it’s all right lad!” Hasty said cheerfully. “He’ll get over his little moment. They come to each of us at one point or another.” Alien pretended to be inspecting the dusty surface of Mars. “But I never seem to get anything right.” He said sadly. “Oh, you’ll get it right one day, lad. Comet should be glad to have you as a friend. And besides, even though you gave away our secret hiding place, you also helped us all escape Woe. And that’s something to be proud of.” “I didn’t do anything.” Wailed the young dragon. “Oh dear.” Hasty murmured. “Now, now.” His voice grew into more of a commanding tone. “That’s no way to behave. A dragon does not lament over the past, but looks into the future. You messed up, so what? It happened. No use cryin’ over it.” “O-okay, Hasty.” Sniffled the younger dragon. “Whatever you say.”

@All (Quick note:)
The story about Maple Turner is NOT made to make anyone feel bad for using tech. This is not necessarily saying ‘this is how it is now’, but ‘this is how it COULD get.’ And part of the story (the part I am working on now, it is toward the ending) is that Maple has to learn that there are some good things about technology. Cotton is sort of a picture of a person who was tempted into having a phone, and since Cotton was not strong in following the King, the phone sucked out her life. Just wanted to clear that up before going on to answering questions!
@Bethy
The story
Typos :Ok, Thanks!
1 (wdym what happened?)
2 Idk...Just wanted to be creative!
3 Yes, Cotton is a girl.
4 Coincidently, the next chapter is called ‘Two Types of Light’ !
Dragon story
Thank you so much for doing that! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it would take so long! Sorry about that:( (Oh yeah, and I absolutely loved your indignant expressions) XD
Thanks for telling me! :) Hm...Your writing sounds like you are 18! :) I still think you're older than me....
Did you play the board game Stratigo? And true about the desserts. I love Ice Cream, and can never eat it because I am super lactose intolerant!:(
@Caro
WOW! I love it! I want to hear more about it! (Oh yeah, Idk if you saw this, but I am just doing anything with the subject line because they get very annoying:)
@Kiara
Yep. Lotsandlotsandlotsandlotsandlots

@Lori: That is cool you are Eskimo! So do you ever wear traditional clothing, or eat traditional foods? What are some traditional Eskimo foods? I have heard of mactak or something that sounds like that that is whale blubber or skin or something that Eskimos eat raw. Is that true? Oh and if you don't feel comfortable answering these questions you don't have too. I understand.

Cool!

@Riley
Ok, Thanks! Yes, I would like to know more about archery! I love it too! But I never was very good...how did your state championship go?
Where do you want your dog to think of as it's 'home'? Like would it have a kennel or something?
Yes, the be sad method really does work. I have tried it myself! It works, but on the inside. Like you won’t see it happening at first, but it does work.
Oh yeah, Lori isn’t here right now. She’s gone over the weekend, so she can’t respond yet:)
@Bethy
Hmm...never noticed about Cottage Cheese. Perhaps it does! I think it’s called that because in the olden days, they used to build cottages with it! (JK!)
Akuna Matata! I didn’t take it seriously XD No one needs to worry about offending me; I am not that easily insulted! Do you want me to make more clear what happened to Cotton? (Since I’ve already put up that her phone sucked out her life). If you want to know more I can tell you!
(About Greenface….I haven’t seen him yet either. So be on the lookout:)
@Nadia
That was me who asked. That’s cool though! That’s how it is for me a lot too. Or, (since I also do comics) it also could be pictures. I’ve been wondering, how many different sorts of stories have you written?
@All, If these comments seem hurried, sorry about that. I'm sort of busy trying to save a sick puppy these days and myself have a stomach flu. So I'm a little rushed, so if I was rude or whatever, let me know please! :)

@Nadia
Thanks for your prayers. It means so much. (sad smile:) Yeah...stomach problems aren't good at all. For me it seems like nothing will stay down. My stomach says 'no' to anything but mint, ironically! And I SHOULD be laying down and not doing anything, but I'm too busy with the puppy, running back and forth from the teacher's house (it's the teachers puppy, not mine,) to my house and stopping halfway to puke! Also thats funny about my subject line XD hahahahahaha...
@All
So, yeah, if you all could be praying for the sick puppy it would be really good. It's super scary bc we just found out it might be parvo (EXTREMLY deadly dog disease) , and if so then not only the puppy will die, but it could spread super easily to the rest of the village's dogs. Then they could ALL die. (Some have been vaccinated, but not my newest puppy Maple). So yeah, its very scary. The puppy, however, was fine until this other dog ran it over. Then it went into shock. That was two days ago, and it still isn't that responsive. I take it on walks to give the teacher a time to nap, and we are trying everything to get it to eat. It drinks by itself now, but hasn't eaten much. And it throws up everything too (like me!!). So if you all could be praying I would appreciate it! Thanks!

Oh no I am so sorry I will be praying! Yeah our neighbor breeds dogs and one time she had parvo spreading to her puppies and she was so busy night and day trying to keep them alive and she was so worn out and then she had to bleach and clean and sterilize EVERYTHING and I don't think any of her adult dogs got it, so that was good. I will pray! Stomach bugs are so annoying! Especially when you are busy with your puppy! I am sorry!
My state competition went well. I am very pleased with my score, which was 350 out of 600. I was only hoping for 300, half! That is very close to the highest score I have ever gotten, which was 366. So I am very happy! I am also a certified archery coach, so if you have ANY questions, feel free to ask I would love to help you with it I love doing anything archery related! A home for the dog... um... well it would have a kennel but that would only be for the night. The rest of the day it can be out. Sage just hangs out on the porch or by the front door, so i guess there?

You girls didn't have to post it, but I'm happy you like my scan! Thx

I have a short story I want you guys to read. Here in the comment below, but please put it on a document if you have a hard time reading it on the comments.

Oopps sorry! I jumped in between your comments!

The Carnelian Blade
The kingdom of Askr was in grim silence on this night. War had been tearing the land and ravaging Askr of her exports and sources. The people and king knew not who their enemy was, the Nameless-Demons was what they were called. The condition of the war grew worst and worst for the king and his family. All knew it would be a matter of weeks before they were killed.
Stealthily, three silent figures picked their way from the castle where the royal family resides. The princess Amida with her two retainers crept into the woods and mountains behind the fort walls. Leading the way was Brill, the lady-in-waiting of Amida. Kain, a mountain of a soldier, followed with the gentle princess. The two servants of the princess refused to allow her to be captured, and were escaping in the dead of night for Amida's very life.
“This way.” whispered Brill, slipping into a thicket. The other two were quick to follow. Kain was amazed at Brill's knowledge of her surroundings. The woods are always a difficult surrounding, in the night even more so. For three days, the wanderers traveled through only the thickest of woods, always in the dead of night.
On the third night, the forest they traveled in was gloomy, with purple shadows staining the bits of moonlight that leaked through. Snaky branches threatened to tear them down. Yet even in the pitch dark, Brill lead them on with little difficulties, which led to Kain questioning himself how she knew these strange woods.
“Aah!” Amida tripped, falling hard on the ground. An ivy had encircled her foot.
“Stay still, Lady Amida.” Kain deftly cut the plant with his dagger. He glanced up toward Brill in time to see her vanish into the dark. Amida struggled to get up.
“Where is she? Brill! Where are you?” She hollered. The masked retainer reappeared like a phantom, her dark eyes shining.
“Hurry, we are almost to safety.” She urged. Kain fought the impulse to shout at Brill for leaving them behind. Now and then, as they all plodded onward, Brill would warn them by saying things like, “Watch out, there's a dip here,” or “Don't cant too far left or you'll fall into the stream next to us. Can you hear it?” The forest wound on and on.
“Where is our destination?” panted Amida. She hated the dark, it made all the space around her feel so empty. She hated having to travel on foot, yet to walk incessantly seemed to matter little to her retainers.
“Perhaps half a mile.” was the short answer from Brill. No sooner had she spoke when all heard a twang. It was the dreaded sound of a bowstring. Brill grabbed Amida's hand and ran to hide. Kain followed behind, as arrows pelted the trees like hail. He got a good look at one; the crude carving of the arrowhead told him it was goblins who were chasing them. They ran to escape the clutches of death.
With no warning, the pursued faced a mountain of stone. A dead end! Astonishing to Kain and Amida was that a piece of the stone wall was moving! Soon, an entire boulder had been removed, revealing the shape of a man, wearing a beige mask over his eyes.
“Quickly sister, before the enemy finds our lodgings.” he whispered to Brill, brushing her forehead with a kiss as she stepped in. Kain and Amida hurried in, as the stone was replaced behind them.
The man with them walked off into a corridor. The cave they were in was clean, the walls carved smooth. Kain noticed with the eye of a soldier that it was built defensive, observing the rocks so artfully placed to welcome intruders with a “cave-in.”
“Brill, may I ask who that was ?” ventured Amida.
“Furthermore, where are we?” demanded Kain. Brill looked from one face to another.
“We are in the Mountain Kingdom. Here is my home, that man is my elder brother. Forgive me for not telling you this earlier, but I now admit that I too am royalty, Lady Amida. The Mountain Kingdom is my responsibility to guard as princess.” confessed Brill. “Please, follow me. You must meet the king.”
Brill led them throughout the Cave Kingdom. Amida gasped in amazement at how it was like a castle underground. Stone fences were carved for the second floor. Kain faintly smelled hot metal. Are forges nearby? He wondered. High gates made of thin crystal towered over them. Fireplaces were built into the walls, keeping the caves bright and warm. Torches lined the walls. Amida stared at all the wonder surrounding her. A door with a nameplate caught her eye for how out of place it was. “Eh-THIL-red.” She pronounced.
Brill shook her head. “It's AY-thil-red.” She opened the door.
The same man who moved the boulder was in front of them, only without the mask. He bowed politely. “I am Ethelred, king of the Cave Kingdom. We welcome you, Lady Amida.” Kain scrutinized the room with zeal. No doubt it was Ethelred's office. A mantel-place of lion's heads on the ends was one of the only decorations, excluding the wall he had covered in weapons. Trophies, thought Kain. Some light suites of armor were lined against the walls, next to the bookshelves full of maps and tomes. The furniture, much to Amida's distaste, was mostly plain and wooden. Even the bunk in the corner looked roughly carved.
Brill turned to Amida. “Now is the time to rest. We have rooms prepared for you, but please wait, milady.” Amida nodded, and gently undid some of her outer robes. “King Ethelred-” she began, but froze in the middle of her sentence, feeling that all eyes were upon her. He gestured vaguely. “You may call me Erx. I dislike always being called by that long name.”
He got no further, for a girl with gentle, fawn-colored hair entered Erx' office. Brill stood up. “Lady Amida, Kain, this is our cousin, Elora. She will be your guide here until we leave.” Elora smiled and bowed. Amida took a liking to her immediately. “Please follow me. We have a room all ready for you right now, Princess Amida.” Her sweet voice put Amida at ease.
They wandered down several corridors, to where all the private rooms were. Elora led them deep into the cave; all the way explaining that the further you went in, the nicer the caves would look.
“The first few corridors and halls are mainly for defense, or so I've heard. Correct me if I am incorrect, Brill?” Elora asked.
Brill nodded. “When the Cave Kingdoms were made, we vowed to build it as safe as we could. You will not see many woman and children here, unless they work in the infirmary. These first caves are called the Soldier Realm. All of our army, battalions, and legions reside in these caves. Further beyond is the Citizen's Realm, where our nation of ordinary people prosper.”
“This is your room, Princess Amida, for you and your retainers.” Elora opened an emerald green door.
It was surprisingly bright and cheerful. The handsome fireplace had eagles heads carved on the ends of the mantelpiece. The beds were in triple bunks. Elora opened the closet door. There was a hidden door on the other side. “In case you need an extra way out.” Elora demonstrated how to use it. She and Amida chattered like sisters.
Brill observed the floral decorations around her with a look of amusement. “You crafted wreaths of flowers for this place, did you not cousin? Oh hang it all. Come Kain, we shall leave these two. I shall show you the training hall.” It mattered little to Amida that her retainers were leaving to train, they were paid to protect her and must therefore always be at their sharpest.
Amida giggled as the two retainers exited. “Never mind Brill, Elora. I think these flowers give the room a feel of majesty.” Elora sighed. “Thank you, yet... I worry for Brill and Erx. They take life far too seriously, as if only it's made of war. I suppose their past experiences don't help them; do you?”
Confusion gripped Amida. “Pardon? I have heard nothing of past experiences from Brill. She never talks much. I really don't mean to pry, but may I ask what are you referring to?”
Now it was Elora's turn to be baffled. “She has told you nothing?” Amida nodded. Elora sighed once more. “Well then, listen closely...
“We didn't always used to live in these caves. Seven years ago, we once lived in the mountains. We were called the Mountain Nation. I can remember watching the sunset from those heights, such a mirage of colors is not seen here underground.”
“Then whatever caused you to leave? It sounds so lovely up there.”
“Possibly the darkest part of the history of the Mountain Nation happened five years ago. Brill's father, the former king, well... It was almost like madness was taking over his mind. He left with over half of the Mountain Nation's army, and attacked our peaceful little kingdom in the heights. He had no reason to do that, he was already king.
“Back then, Erx and Brill had three elder sisters and four elder brothers. The eldest brother, rose to the throne and fought back. He said he would not allow anyone to raid us, whoever it is. But Brill's father's army appeared invincible. Poor Erx, he was soon the leader of our nation, as one by one his siblings passed. Erx originally wanted to be scribe and Brill a healer; but this twist of fate turned them into soldiers. Erx had once read of caves that our forefathers had made before coming to the mountains. We retreated there. When he and Brill had at last drove away the onslaughts, our outpost we left in the mountains was destroyed. There wasn't even a refuge left to return to. All lay in waste and turmoil. Since then we have stayed in the caves; but Erx still has people trying to rebuild our first home.”
“How awful.” lamented Amida. “Why didn't Brill tell this to me?”
Elora shrugged her shoulders. “Let us turn the subject.” The girls turned to other topics of conversation. Several days later, Brill, Kain, and Amida were talking of past experiences in Askr when Elora ran in shrieking at the top of her lungs,
“Ethelred is hosting a ball to honor your being here, Princess Amida! Can you believe what he has just decided to do? We must get you prepared at once! The party is tonight! And -”
This is what Kain would call, “peaceful chaos from an unexcited friend.” From there going forth Amida and Elora filled the room with chatter and squeals. Brill and Kain bore it as long as they could, but soon left to leave all the “prissy gossip and giggles.”
“What do you think of this dress?” The girlish side of Amida laughed with glee. Party frocks and flowers were things she enjoyed fussing over, and the rose-colored gown Elora suggested had caught her fancy.
“Oh, that is just lovely! It would look beautiful with my light green sash, if I can only find it.” She fussed around with her robes, searching for her prized and embroidered girdle. It had been a gift to her from her deceased brother and she had always treasured it. Frantically her eyes scanned the room.
“It's not here!” She wailed, panicking. “Oh, where could it be?” With Elora's help, they scoured the place top to bottom; but the search was fruitless. Kain entered to regain his metal gauntlets (he and Brill were at the training hall drilling) and Amida told him of her missing treasure. After some thought, he reminded Amida when she had handed all her extra robes to him in Erx' office. “Perhaps it fell out then.” Elora confirmed his suspicion by saying she had seen something of the fit description when she had gone there to clean the day before.
At first thought of reentering Erx' office, Amida's heart felt sick. Secretly, she was terrified of Erx. 'He's too quiet to be safe around', she thought, even though Elora had tried to convince her that he was harmless as a kitten. “That is, when he isn't angry. Otherwise Erx is perfectly gentle.” she had said. Amida shuddered. No, she would not go back in there alone.
Thankfully Elora offered to take her. “But it's perfectly fine if you in go on your own. He allows me to come in whenever I need something from his library. Come.” Shutting the door behind her, Elora led Amida to his office. All was well until a passing nurse halted Elora. “Lady Elora, aren't you going to the meeting for the infirmary?”
“Ah! Yes, but...” She turned to Amida. “Do you think you can fetch your sash on your own? This is something I'm not allowed to miss as head of the hospital.”
Amida later forgot how she managed to say yes, but soon was left all alone in the hall. Slowly, she made her way to the door. Thump, thump, thump. Her own footsteps sounded loud in her head. Cautiously she made her way in.
There, all neatly folded on the desk, was her sash. Swiftly, she gathered it into the safety of her arms. Nonchalantly, Amida's eyes surveyed the room, admiring the trophy wall before her. Maces, spears, swords, bows, axes, all hung before her. One small dagger caused Amida's eyes to widen in disbelief.
The blade of the dagger was of carnelian stone, polished smooth enough to be effective. It glinted in the fire-light, looking like an orange ruby, yet without so brilliant a luster. Such a weapon was too fine for the ordinary to wield; it belonged in the hands of one of noble birth, and to Amida it was identical to the one her brother, Prince Dallas, had once wielded. Everything from the carving, the engravings, to the design, were flawlessly the same. But by what means had it come to the possession of the cave king Ethelred?
Behind Amida the door opened. Erx stood there. To Amida, he might as well have been a ghost. She lost herself in terror and stood there stuttering; before she burst out screaming,“ Erx, I-I... you'll never see me here again!” Ethelred stared as she ran out, baffled. Brill appeared in the doorway and a somewhat telepathic look seemed to pass between her and Erx. Both turned their eyes to the wall, wondering what scared her off.
Later, Kain found his liege sobbing on her bed, using her sash as a handkerchief. In a strained voice like a hissing whisper, Amida explained everything she had seen to him, as well as confessing her doubt of Brill's loyalty. Was it possible that Thirquill and Ethelred were only housing Amida in the Cave Kingdom to seize Askr's last heir? Kain grimly answered her that he would seek a meeting with them, demanding the truth from them both. Yet before he had a chance to move a step, there came a cautious knock on the door. Brill stepped in.
“May it please your majesty, Ethelred wishes to speak with you.” To her shock, Kain hurled himself at her, as she dodged to the side. “Brill, I demand the truth from you-” Amida screeched at him to stop. “Perhaps they mean to explain everything to us, and let us not glean suspicion on ourselves.” she whispered in his ear. Reluctantly, he yielded, and they walked to Erx' office.
Ethelred hailed them with so much as a nod, which greatly mounted Kain's suspicion. Erx turned to the wall and removed the carnelian dagger with two hands. He presented it before Amida.
“This is most certainly the finest of my weapon collection; yet I know it belongs to you. Have you any idea how I came to own it, Princess Amida?” She shook her head, heart pounding like a war-hammer. Ethelred gently placed it in Amida's hands, and rotated his eyes to his mementos. With effort, he began, “Shortly after your brother left for the quest of finding a means to save Askr, he came here. We knew each other by a mere coincidence some years ago, but he asked us to keep a quiet eye on you and your family, as well as the capital of Askr.”
Brill picked up the tale. “A few months ago, one of my forest scouts stumbled upon a dying warrior. His wounds were too deep for us to save him. Erx and I managed to see Dallas (for that was who the soldier was) before he passed. He asked us to continue watching Askr and you especially. I asked if hiring myself to you would be satisfying enough. It made him well content. Dallas insisted on leaving his dagger to Erx. We bent our will to a dying knight's wishes. We never learned of the cause of his wounds.”
Amida's eyes welled with tears. The room blurred before her, everything was moving like jelly. Kain led her away. Brill and Ethelred watched. “That's that.” mumbled Erx. “A lovely way to let out the truth. Dangerous truth.” Brill shrugged. To their surprise, Kain reentered. “You say your scouts found Dallas? How come you to have these scouts Brill?”
Erx eyed his sister's face, wondering what her answer would be. Brill replied, “I am the Captain of the Cave Patrol Squadrons; thus maintaining the safety of the upper ground is my responsibility.”
Kain's eyebrows arched upward. “Is that how you come to know the forest? I observed that you knew your surroundings quite well when we were running from the capital.” At this, he turned on his heels and walked off.
The episode in the office left Amida in shock. Always had she wanted to know what had become of her brother, but so mysterious an ending to one's life! Amida wished Erx and Brill had never told her. She almost hated them for telling her. What will I tell Father and Mother? Dallas' quest came to a halt? How will I tell them he's...
Kain arrived to find liege sobbing on her bed. He too was numb with astonishment. Truth be told, I wouldn't be serving Lady Amida if Dallas hadn't found me on my parents farm... For the longest time we were like brothers. Kain was the son of a wealthy merchant who farmed plants that were used to make clothing dye. Dallas made sure I was trained like a soldier, and had a good education. The prince had come to buy some colors for his family, and saw the potential in Kain as a good bodyguard for his younger sister.
The next few days after the ball, Amida stayed in her room, allowing only Elora and Kain to see her. Kain wandered around Erx' office, creating a bond of friendship. One day a soldier burst while Kain, Brill, and Erx were having a talk.
“Lord Ethelred! Lady Thirquill! Goblins legions have been spotted heading this way!” Erx stood up so quickly his chair nearly fell backward. “How many?” he growled.
“About two-thousand at least.” Brill scampered to the door, but Ethelred's arm restrained her. “No! I will not allow you to fight. Listen, both you and Kain. You are to leave, now.” Brill frowned. “Why?”
Ethelred pushed them out the door. “No doubt the enemy has found out Amida has taken refuge here! If you leave, they will withdraw. Make haste!”
As the retainers hurried through the corridors of the Cave Kingdom, soldiers and battalions flew past them. Brill and Kain burst into Amida's quarters, startling her. Amida screamed.
“Quick! Into the trapdoor!” hollered Brill. Kain swept up their belongings. Elora hurried in with a package. “Here, some food for your journey. Be safe. Brill, spies report the onslaughts coming from the North. It would be better to take the Western Kyrian paths.” Brill nodded.
Down the tunnel they went. It led to the entrance of the Cave Kingdom. Ethelred was there, waiting to open the door for them. Discreetly he rolled the stone. Amida grabbed his hand. She had a question that had been bothering her. “Thank you for your kindness.” Shyly, she hesitated. “Have you and I met in the past?” Ethelred smiled. “Many years ago, I traveled with merchants. We crossed paths when my caravan stopped at your family castle to sell trinkets and silk. Dallas purchased two dolls for you. Hurry, you must leave! ” he urged. “Guide them well Thirquill.”
They ran through the same woods and crossed the same rivers. Brill made a sharp turn to the left. “This way.” Kain drew Amida closer to him. “This must be difficult for Brill.” he murmured.
“How so?” panted Amida. Kain leaned in closer. “She is leading us away from the Cave Kingdom. The defensive side in her must want to stay and help protect her home.” Amida gasped. She was split between protecting the Caves and leading me away; yet I suppose she had no choice but to. Not with Erx ordering her so. Oh, I do hope we meet again! Amida's hand went to touch her belt, which held the Carnelian blade.
Three days later, they arrived safely home, and fortune was with them. The raids on the capital had ceased. Askr was safe and so was its King. Ethelred successfully fended off the attacking goblins, though they never did learn who they were. Furthermore, Erx' and Brill's act of protecting Amida awakened the long forgotten alliance between Askr and the Mountain Nation; thus restoring a strong and crucial friendship.
As the years passed Amida eventually returned to the Cave Kingdoms to marry Erx. In time they had a son named Daphnel. Brill and Kain were relieved of their duties as retainers. Brill became a wandering mercenary, serving different lieges to her heart's delight, returning from time to time to visit the Cave Kingdoms. She at last settled down to serve the Dyrane, a warrior who would eventually pass into legend.
Kain followed Brill for a year, yet chose to become a soldier in the Army of Askr. Tragically, he was killed on the battlefield. Erx continued to serve as King, and the Mountain Nation was rebuilt during his reign. He and Brill went to serve as recipients of the Mountain Nation when a great meeting was held between the kingdoms of the realm. King Ethelred was killed by goblins when his son was three. However, before he died, Erx and Brill continued to train to their hardest as excellent soldiers, and well they might, for five years later a dark evil arose, and it would take the power of all the kingdoms of the realm to quench it.

Author's note:
When Elora says “watching the sunset from the heights” of the mountains I am referring to the aurora borealis more commonly known as the norther lights.
Carnelian is a reddish-brown stone used for decoration, and very rarely is it used as a weapon. However it is strong enough to be lethal.

Think You're throwing your character a party... - I will invite Melaynia to the party she never went to...
What kind of... would they like?
Food (Sweet, spicy, bitter etc) :All kinds of. She never had much food.
Colors : none
decorations: Any.
party favors: Food and clothes
activites : Throw the spear down the river, but she never has much time for happy things.
drinks: Water
conversations would they have?: How cruel her overseer is.
music: Simple happy tunes.

How would they sit at the table?: relaxed, or tense.
What would they say upon walking into the room? (eg Why am I here? Thank you for inviting me?): "Is it safe to be here?"

Who would you see your character talking to? What kind of personality would those ppl have? :her friends, they would be rash, gentle or timid.

How would your character present themselves at the party? eg how would they walk through the door?: Carefully
What kind of gift would you give them?: Food or clothes or freedom
What would they wear?: Simple farm garb easy to move in
What would they have in their pockets? (phone, mild stomach poison, hairpins, money, etc): farm tools

If you saw their room, what would it look like? Their bag? closet? car?
: Doesn't have a room.
Does your character like...
cooking: yes
crafts: no
training: would if she had a shot at it
dancing: rarely does it but yes
hiding: no
irony: most of the time
animals: no
gardening: hates it
singing: yes it passes her time
drawing: no
studying: if she had a chance yes
whittling: no
teasing: hates it
dressing up: no
reading: can't read
video games: "what are video games?"
social media: "huh?"
helping: yes
sports: yes
sweets; never had one
antiques: no (too delicate for her strength
alcholal: hates it ("My master goes crazy when he drinks!")
baby-sitting: no
fishing: yes
horse-riding: yes if she was allowed
flirting: hates it
painting: no
music: yes
etc
Where would you find your character?
eg bedroom, gym, greenhouse, dance hall, library, training hall, dining hall, kitchen, park, market place, etc?
In her bunker or the fields, later in Vergan's home.

I NEED HELP WITH ANOTHER SAD PART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, yeah, it's me and my sad parts again. This time, can you all help me? (I read this to Lori, and she said it needed changed, so I know i have to fix some things, but I don't know how!) I like the words, but I can't seem to fit them all in correctly so the story....flows, if you know what I mean. So I know I need some help! Seriously, this time I really need help.
-Cotton stumbled, and the phone flew out of her hands into the well. She cried out, springing towards the well with every intention of diving down it to grab the phone. “No, Cotton!” Maple lunged forward and grabbed the Cotton’s arms, pulling her backwards and away from the well. Cotton struggled furiously, and Maple felt the other girl’s fist smash into her eye. Yet she held on, crying: “You won’t do any good!” There was a splash sounding deep down below, and they both knew the phone was gone into the water. Cotton stopped struggling, and Maple relaxed, knowing that Cotton wouldn't throw herself into the well anymore. Then Cotton turned around and kicked Maple hard in the knee, causing her to fall over backwards onto the turf. “It’s all your fault!” She screamed, glaring down at her one time friend. Maple struggled to her feet, lip bleeding and eye already swollen. “You could have killed yourself!” She pleaded. “I had to stop you!” Cotton grew calm, but Maple knew she wasn’t finished. Her eyes were no longer afire with rage, but still angry, like the hot coals which the fire leaves that will still burn your hand. She looked into Maple’s one good eye, and said, calmly yet cruelly, the words Maple never thought she would say. “I hate you.” It was like a knife of ice stabbed Maple in the chest. Cotton, her best friend, for whom she would have willingly laid down her life, hated her. She was unable to move or speak, but a single tear trickled down her face, smearing the dirt on it. Without another word, Cotton spun round, and disappeared into the mist.-
(Quick note, again, I'm not saying anyone would jump down a well to save an ordinary phone. The phone Cotton got had an addicting power to it that the evil guy put in it, making her always want to have it and willing to jump down a well to grab it. When it splashed though, Cotton had a little common sense left and knew not to jump in after it.)

Yeah sort of....yeah.

Maybe something w/ Snake in it? Idk, that's why I'm asking ya'll!

Yyyyyyyyyyeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh, I'll think about it; good ideas!

'Askook' is the word for snake, if you wanted to use that. Or how about Snake Spirit, or Snake Man, or yeah I like Caro's Striking Viper.

Riley: Yes, I completely do! I have my main points, and then I need to fill them in. Sentences that need to be said happen in filler-conversations! Also, great book-section! I think having the recipes in the book would be AWESOME!
Lissa: Oh...well, it was still helpful for me to write it all out. In your short story, the names were so amazing! Who was Thirquill? Thanks for the author's note, (I actually read it before I read most of the story!) So much mystery and excitement for such a short little story! I loved the ending, (I was surprised by who Amida married!). I wish there was more, it was intriguing! :)
Desarose: So, is it supposed to be sad? It felt more angry and frustrating to me, I mean, that was the tone. If you want it to be sad, maybe slow it down? Make it less angry? It's just that if you hadn't said it was sad, I wouldn't have gotten that. Well, I guess the end is sad, but not the beginning as much. Do you mind letting me re-write it to see what I'm trying to say? Bc I'm also confused by what I'm saying.

If Askook is snake in their language, I'm going with that! Thanks!

your welcome!

@Rley
So, I’m writing this on a document because the voice of the storyteller page won’t load. I saw your comment before, when it did load, so I’m going to do my best to respond...although don’t remember everything. All that to say, I hope I respond to everything! And thanks for telling me all that! It’s very helpful! (Everyone has their own thing, huh? It could be dogs, archery, writing, drawing…) what I wanted to know about the string was...What could be an alternative? Maple is sort of a use-anything-you-can-get character.
She target shoots…
About the husky
I’m sure you are making the right choice for you and your family! I was praying you’d make the right choice, and that sounds good. (I know, I know, getting a dog always requires careful consideration, whatever kind of dog it is!)
@Bethy
Go right ahead and rewrite it! So, it’s supposed to be a mix of sadness, frustration, and bitterness. (Know what I mean?) But yeah, go ahead and rewrite it! Sure!
@Belwyn
Wow! I love it! I reread it about ten times and thought it didn’t need any adjusting whatsoever!

Thanks for understanding about the dog!!!!
Archery... So I put a thing about strings in an above comment. For an alternative, if she lived in the right place, she could do like the Indians did and use like animal sinew or even possibly a strong plant fiber. Does that help? That is good she target shoots! Because I know a lot more about that! What kind of bow is she shooting because that can determine a lot about the string and things she uses. A Compound or Recurve bow?

Everything is reminding me of LOTR lately! I'm halfway through the last book!!!!! Askook reminds me of Wormtongue in LOTR!

Cool! I'm reading LOTR for school too!