Percibald Garcia isn’t an actor or voiceover artist. He’s not a teacher or childcare worker. But since May, the 27-year-old architect has been a popular storyteller among some kids in quarantine.
During the pandemic, weeks of confinement—no friends, no group activities—have been dull and dreary, especially for children.
“Almost nobody was looking after the way that kids were experiencing this lockdown,” Garcia says.
For months now, Garcia has taken his “wandering microphone” into the green spaces between buildings in an enormous Mexico City apartment complex. There he broadcasts stories while children listen.
During His time on Earth, Jesus told stories. He often spoke in parables because He knows that stories can reveal truth, overcome barriers, gather people together—and even change them.
Garcia reads stories like El Tlacuache Lunatico (The Crazy Opossum) by David Martín del Campo. He often plays songs by Mexican children’s composer Francisco Gabilondo Soler. Children pop up at the windows of the multistory buildings for the show. A few venture out with parents to sit on the grass or a bench.
“The public plaza has been extremely important in Mexico since the time of our ancestors,” Garcia notes. “It is where people meet, talk, where the life of a neighborhood develops.” The pandemic hit this aspect of life hard, because people have been encouraged not to go out or gather. He calls his reading project “De la Casa a la Plaza” (“From the house to the plaza”).
Garcia believes his readings help to reclaim those shared spaces—and stem the movement to a digital world. “In the last three months, everything has gone online—work, contacts, shopping,” he says. “This is an act of resistance in the face of this ferocious digitalization.”
Rogelio Morales listens from his grandmother’s window. Since March, the nine-year-old has spent much of his time playing video games. “The only thing I go out for is to walk my dog,” he says. “It’s a little boring.”
But of the storytelling, Rogelio says, “It’s nice. We can relax a little.”
Luna Gonzalez came outside with her mother. They listened to Garcia from a safe distance, both wearing face masks. “I imagine what the animals are like,” says Luna. “I get bored at home.”
Rogelio’s grandmother, Maria Elena Sevilla, also sits at the window. “It is not just children he is entertaining,” she says. “It is people of my age too.”
These days, most of his neighbors have cellphones, tablets, or computers. But Garcia wants them to hear the human voice—and thrill in the world of shared tales.
1st Comment!!!
That's nice.
How many of you are still in lockdown?
Thankfully, my state is not on lockdown but we have a face mask mandate :(
I want to be an author
I want to do this but i would come up with my own stories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do it every night for my sisters:)
3rd comment
This is a great idea!
We are not in lockdown and right now, at least where we live, we don't HAVE to wear masks. My great-grandpa is in the hospital so you have to wear a mask there, but not to the grocery store or anything. You can if you want to, but it is not necessary.
My friend and I are working on writing a book together and we want to publish it! It is called New Hope. I have written 4 others and started 2 more, but none of them are published.
@Riley D
I have written two and am planning to publish but my editor is not available at the moment so I have to wait. :( That's really nice! What's your book about?
@ NA
Same thing -- no lockdown, but a mask mandate -- in Oklahoma.
Wow!
I love this! Also it's cool that some of you have written books. I've been trying but I can never finish them. But this is amazing how he's entertaining the children during lockdown!
THANK YOU FOR INSPIRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have tried to write books and it is my dream to publish some... but none of them are good. i like writing about wolves:)
@NA
Thats cool! Who do you use as a publisher? To try to make this short..... There are two main character girls, Madison and Melanie. Melanie is a foster girl with a really bad attitude who comes to live with Madison's family. Madison's family is Christian, Melanie is not. Long story super short, a big climax and then Melanie becomes a Christian. That is the super basic skeleton. It is written in first person, so like the first chapter is written by my friend, who is writing for Melanie, so it would be from Melanie's point of view, while the next chapter is the one I write and it is from Madison's point of view. Does that make sense? We are having a lot of fun doing it!
Do you use an agent to publish it? We could use a lot of tips about publishing!!! Thanks for any you have and are willing to share!
Has anyone read The Prince
Has anyone read The Prince Warriors series by Priscilla Shire? It’s a really good series.
Has anyone read the Christy
Has anyone read the Christy Miller series? It’s amazing. And I thinks it’s great how you guys are writing books!
wow
so im not the only one who writes stories lol i just never try to publish them because im not very well confident i guess but if you guys want i can give you a quick summary...
@Above
@Ruby D: Yes I have read the Prince Warriors and really like them! I am going through the devotional right now
@Mirela: No, I haven't read that series yet. Thanks for the enthusiasm about the writing
@Maggie: Sure! And try to be confident! Nothing is ever just totally bad!
@Riley
Nice! We are planning to publish through Amazon. Its free but they get royalties....
That's cool, Riley D! I would
That's cool, Riley D! I would like to publish my stories as well.
tips?
Does anybody have some writing tips? I'm hoping to become an aspiring author, and it would be awesome if I had some tips from more experienced writers.
@Above
@NA: ok thanks!
@Elijah S: well, I am not that experienced, but here is what I can give you: be sure to include many colorful descriptions of people, places, etc.. Put in lots of conversation. I found this hard to do when I first started, but it makes the story a lot more interesting for the person reading it. I like to make mine interesting from the start, because if I am the reader, if I don't get interested within the first few chapters, I quit the book. So one I just started yesterday started with "The decision is final, Rachael!" 16 year old Rachael glared at her mom, then stomped off to her room in the house in Los Angeles and slammed the door. ................ So that is just a few things, one other would be to make sure you have a main climax. Don't do a bunch of little ones, or none at all. Have the book building up to a climax, and then winding down. In another I am writing, this girl has a real bad attitude, not a Christian, etc etc etc... she lives with a Christian foster family, and anyway she causes and accident that almost kills a close friend, but he forgives her, and then at church the next Sunday she hear what Jesus has done for her and she becomes a Christian. Then the rest of the book is how she develops a better relationship with Christ etc. So anyway, that is really all the tips I have right now. Sometimes I start a book not knowing how it is going to finish. I just let my mind run and make it turn into something awesome. Good luck! And remember, no writing is bad. there are just always ways to improve it. Even great authors have ways they can be always improving their books. Have fun writing!
-Riley
@Riley
Thanks so much for the advice! If you get it published, I would love to read New Hope! It sounds really good.
@Elijah S
I am so glad that you are interested!! If it is published, it will definitely be in 2021, but I will let you know! If we publish it, I will say so on this page, even though it will be an old one. You will just have to look for it in search. Again I am glad you are interested!
@Elijah S
Also you are very welcome for the advice! If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I am open to share ideas.
i love that idea
i love that idea
@NA
Wow! I think it's cool that you might publish a book! What is your book about? How long is it?
I recommend the Green Ember
I recommend the Green Ember series. It's a really interesting fantasy novel series written by a christian author. It has tons of drama and is a little bit of a tearjerker. It's very interesting and I have read the entire series (including the prequels and side stories).
My Story
My story
Here is the summary
Zak and Andrew are two princes. though they are brothers, they are total opposites. Andrew is destined to be king after the king dies, but he is wimpy, a coward, and doesn't care about anyone but himself. Zack, on the other hand, is brave, caring, and worthy to be a king. Zack's job is to make Andrew worthy to be a king, but is nearly impossible.
Ok, so I've got the summary, so what do i do next? Any tips? Any character ideas?
I need some help. Any ideas? Oh, and i need a title idea too. everyone sounds like good writers here and well, i thought I'd ask for help.
-Dessie
@Desarose
Hmmm.... this is a little hard because it is not my book, but I will try to help you. Title: maybe something like "Future King" or "The Making of a King". Not sure if you like them or not, but it might get your gears going! Tips would be to make sure it is interesting, put in good descriptions and conversations (you can read the tips I gave to Elijah) For characters, maybe some of the king's servant are bad men too, and they are encouraging Andrew to do bad things and make bad decisions, So Zack has to "fight" against them as well when he tries to turn his brother around.
Sorry but I really don't have anything else at the moment. It is hard because it is not my book, and even in my books a lot of times I make it up as I go. I have a main story line, and then just add in what I call fillers. I will keep thinking though!!!!! Just another thing, I always like to make my books have a good moral in them, so two that I am writing now are with a main character that is not a Christian, and then they become one. Does that make sense? And of course it doesn't have to be THAT exactly, but you know what I mean.
I hope that helped!!!!
-Riley
How about "The Wrong Royal"?
How about "The Wrong Royal"?
@ Dessie
Ooh sounds interesting! Well, try and think of a starting point, and go from there. And let your imagination go. You can ALWAYS edit things! There are so many times I have re-written chapters and even changed character names to make the story better! (much to the annoyance of my - er- readers xDD) I would probably start it as an intro like my first book starts as an intro with one of the mail characters (Billy Frank) : "Eleven-year-old Billy Frank crouched in the darkness of the damp garage, partly hidden in the shadows. He shifted his view just at the right angle so he could see through the small window on the garage wall. His view was fixed on the house next door, where his best friend, Caleb Kennelly lived."
The second book starts kind of like a recap (I picked Billy Frank again to start the book... I am still editing this part) : "Billy Frank glanced at the clock on the wall, it was 2:55 pm. Five more minutes until school was out for the day. He fidgeted with his pencil and glanced down at his blank notebook. He could not focus on Latin right now, he had other things on his mind. Like, time travel...."
The hardest part for me, was starting the book. (aka why it's not very interesting) From then on I just went on. I didn't even have a plot (oops) I just had "Write me a book about time travel" xD You seem to have a better start than I did LOL! But I think Riley gave some GREAT advice! I hope this made sense....
~ Nadia
P.S
And the name. I wouldn't focus to much on the name right now. I am in the middle of a book and I don't have a name for it (yet) I've been playing with some names though.
Thanks!
Thanks so much!
The Wrong Royal, now there's an idea! Thanks, Elijah!
Influential servants....Awesome! Thanks, Riley!
And Nadia, All those great tips! So GLAD i asked you all for help!
Riley, what kind of moral can work here? i mean, i think i might have one already, but i am totally ignorant on how to do this. I have this burning desire to WRITE and i want to glorify God with it. J R R Tolkien and C S Lewis wrote great fiction and they found a way to make it to HIs glory. I wanna do it too!
Nadia, how do i push myself to complete this story? I know i want to, but how? most of the stories i write are unfinished.
And everyone...THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if you think of anything else i could use....please post it! I sure love all this help!
Oh, what do you think of this kind of silly part;
Andrew and Zack are totally lost in a forest. They only have have one horse, and suddenly they hear something comeing toward them. Zack draws his sword, and whispers "Andrew, your sword! prepare to defend yourself!" Andrew will have none of it. He sits on the horse. Zack gets ready to leap on the horse if its to much for him to handle, bum Andrew doesnt let him. "The horse can run faster with one. If it comes out, im bolting!" He says. Zack is indignant. "and leave me to fight it alone?" He asks. "Well, i am the future king." Andrew says. It turns out, the thing is a knight who knows the forest and gets them out of the scrape they are in. It just goes to show Andrew's character! :
OOPS
My keys do NOT work! I meant, BUT ANDREW not bum andrew! SOOO SORRY
OOPS
My keys do NOT work! I meant, BUT ANDREW not bum andrew! SOOO SORRY
@Desarose
The Wrong Royal is an awesome name!! Way to go Elijah!!
I know what you mean. when I write, I feel like I need to glorify God with it, which is why I like to write and weave in converting people. So that there could be a chance that someone who reads the book will be converted. Another idea could just be someone who is already a Christian, but finally realizes what a true Christian should be like. I think in the case of your book, it should have something to do maybe with a True Servant Attitude, like Jesus had. Zack is being the true servant, while his brother acts selfish, uncaring, and rude, Zack can shine a light into his life by even after many assaults, he is still loving, kind, unselfish, etc. I don't know, just an idea. Just try to do some thinking and see what you can come up with!!! So I know you asked Nadia this question, but I am going to give my answer to it as well, so I hope that is okay (NO offence to you, Nadia, I am sure you can give a lot better answer anyway!) But about finishing a book.... For me to finish one, I have to be really into it. A lot of times I will think out a great beginning and a great ending, but then just make up the middle as I go. So then I have something to push forward to. Just an idea. But some of my books, I am not sure what i want the ending like, so I write until I run out of ideas, then stick it on the shelf for a day, week, month, until I get more ideas, and then I can pull it out again, and my imagination starts to flow again. It all depends. I hope this has helped you out a little. Just make a goal and push towards it. If you have any other questions, just ask!
@ Elijah S
YES!!!! The Green Ember!! Best books ever!! Have you read the new Jo Shanks book that just came out? It's called the Archer's Cup. Our family just started reading it out loud, like we do with all the books. It's good so far!
@ Dessie
Well, whenever I had trouble ending my story, I prayed about it. And then I went through and read through the whole thing, I made sure I had met all my goals. Made my points clear, fit the gospel in, made scenes more interesting ect. And the asked myself "What needs to happen next?" Sense my book is in series I left a slight cliff hanger. But it still closed out that part of the story.
But for a little while I was stuck. (I am in a point now in a book where I'm stuck....I'll share it a little later for some help xD) So if your plot is "Zack's job is to make Andrew worthy to be a king," you could end the book with a happy ending (like Andrew changes. You could fit a conversion in here if you wanted) or a tragic ending where Andrew dies and Zack becomes king (idk if one that's the best idea though xD)
The end of a book (not in a series) is bringing the story to a close. (unless you want to leave your readers in suspense forever like some books I've read....that I don't particularly like when books do that though) So like in the book I'm writing, the plot if for some kids to find their parents. So I will end the story when they find their parents (and I bet my family will be dying for a sequel hehe) or something to that extent.
So to end the story, you could write what happens to Andrew or skip a few years later and have one of the characters think about all that happened in the years leading up to that point.
So, do you know how the story will end? Will Andrew change or are you still thinking about it?
Sorry, that probably doesn't make any sense.......I hope that helps a little.....do you need me to clarify anything?
@ Riely
LOL!! You gave a better answer than I did xD
All right, here is where I'm stuck.
Okay so, I wrote this last night, and I need to improve it, I fee like it's really horrible and I'm not getting my point across!! Does this (the below) make any sense? Please tell me of any things to make it more interesting (especially the embrace part) Thanks!
CHAPTER 18
“I wonder where Amicus is,” Caleb said. They were still sitting under the tree and it was rather boring.
“I should think he would be here by now,” Thacia said.
The sky was growing darker and there was a small chill in the air.
Priscilla gazed into the crowds, searching for a familiar face. Suddenly she gasped in shock, hardly daring to believe what she saw.
“It’s Nathan!” She exclaimed.
“What?” Patrick said. Then he looked up.
Nathan waved joyfully and, in a moment, he was standing beside them. His grin widened as Priscilla threw herself into his arms.
“Oh Nathan!” She breathed. “It’s so good to see you!” Her voice was muffled against his chest.
Nathan pulled her away by the shoulders and gazed at her.
“And you too my sister,” He said.
Priscilla turned to help Thacia gather their belongings.
Patrick clapped his brother on the back. He clasped his hand warmly.
Joy glowed on each of their faces.
“Now you must come with me,” Nathan said.
Patrick nodded. He shouldered the bag that Pricilla handed to him. And they followed Nathan to his home.
***
Nathan tapped lightly on the door. A young woman opened it.
“Nathan there you are!” She gasped. “What took you so long? We have… guests?”
Nathan grinned. “These are my siblings and their friends,” he said.
The girl looked confused. “All right, come in then.” She pulled the door farther back and the group streamed in.
The room that they entered seemed small, it was dark as the candles had not been lit yet and long table took up most of the room. Nathan nodded courteously to the girl and motioned the others to follow him up a short fleet of old stairs. Once they reached the top, Nathan opened a door to a very small room and a very cramped looking Amicus.
“How are we going to fit in here?” Caleb blurted before he could stop himself.
“It is small,” Nathan said apologetically. “But it’s all I can af-ford. And it will be best to try and stay low because of what happened.”
“What happened?” Thacia asked.
Amicus and Nathan exchanged glances.
“Ummm…” Amicus said.
“You can tell us later,” Thacia said. “Now, how are we going to sleep here? The room is to small.”
“We’ll be fine.” Nector said.
“You girls can have the cot,” Nathan offered.
Priscilla and Thacia glanced at the uncomfortable looking cot. “Thank you,” Priscilla said suppressing a giggle.
Billy yawned “I’m so tired,” he said. In truth, sitting under a tree for the majority of the day was extremely boring and sur-prisingly tiring.
“Same.” Caleb said sleepily.
Nector laughed. “I think we should all get some rest.”
“Yes,” Nathan agreed. “The Landlady serves breakfast at sun-rise,”
“Sunrise?” Billy echoed.
Nathan laughed. “Good night,” he said.
Nector gave Nathan a knowing look. “Good night,” He said.
Unknown to them, sunrise would be long in coming.
Weird, spellcheck ...that's
Weird, spellcheck ...that's supposed to be afford not af-ford
THERE'S A NEW JO SHANKS BOOK!
THERE'S A NEW JO SHANKS BOOK!?
I finished Ember's End around
I finished Ember's End around the beginning of the year so this is awesome!!!
Toda! (Thank you in Hebrew)
Wow. This advice is just...wow. THANK YOU!
Such great answers!
Andrew will change in the end. I don't think Zack should be perfect. I think he needs something that he needs to work on too, so i picked something i need to work on!
Zack has trouble controlling his temper, hows that? (Of course, Zack wants to change his temper, Andrew thinks the whole world revolves around himself!) This is where i bring in Zack's change, and then...Andrew's character again. Hes MAD at Zack for changing! he knows his father respects Zack more than himself, and he doesn't like it. He wants Zack to have something thats wrong. In other words, he tries to exalt himself by pushing Zack down.
Since Andrew is the future king, Zack must respect Andrew's wishes. So of course Andrew tries to stop Andrew from doing anything good. This hurts Andrew in the end, because one of the poor people Zack tried to help, but was prevented by Andrew, grows to hate all royalty and tries to kill both Andrew and Zack.
Ok, question. I want to put some humor in the story, how can i come accross that?
Also, i really need a good name for a doctor in the story, can anyone help?
Nadia and Riley, once again i want to thank you. This help is totally helpful. I appreciate every word you wrote.
Nadia, about your story. Like i've said before, i am totally ignorant here. so i might not be much help, but i want to try. do you mind? Anyway, this is what i think:
mabye instead of 'the group streamed in' i would say 'the group piled in.' but thats me.
And this; my freind told me that if your ever stuck on something in writing, put some humor in it. like, a chapter or so of humor. It looks like you did:) I personally thought in was great! Please do not take anything i said seriously. (except the that it is great:) I tried!
But, again, thanks everyone so much.
Can i ask one more question? Here it is: Should the story i am writing end with an epic battle between Andrew and Zack's kingdom against one thats trying to take there kingdom over?
THANK YOU!
~Dessie
PS By the way, if you see anything that looks wrong spelling wise, plz understand that these computer keys are AWFUL! Comes of living off the road system:)
OK, correction again...
Andrew tries to stop ZACK from doing anything good!
@ Dessie
That sounds like a great ending!!
So, how are you going to have Zack change? If you wanted, you could have Zack trying to change himself (to no avail) and then someone could share the gospel with him (a servant, relative ect.) and he could get saved and then slowly change. ( THIS IS JUST AN IDEA!!!!! ) And Andrew could of course be angry and everything you said, but then you could put a situation where Andrew realizes he can't do it (like idk something dramatic if you wanted) and then that opens up for Zack to explain how he (Andrew) can change. Once again THAT IS JUST AN IDEA!!!! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO THAT so you can pretend it didn't even say it. XD
As for humor... I don't really have a good answer LOL sorry xD but I would say when you are moving along in your story, you'll see an opening for some humor ; ) ( I know that was so not helpful sorry XDD)
And thanks for the suggestion! All my "editors" said the same thing so I'm definitely going to change that XD
~Nadia
this is Mylee
wow all of you ideas sound so cool! I am glad that this guy is doing this i mean it would get boring being in lock down and in a small apartment with no outdoors.
@N&M A
your story sounds great! i love writing too.
okay, one suggestion: sometimes it sounds better if you put a person's action instead of saying, "he/she said" after the quote. for example: instead of Billy yawned. "I'm so tired," he said. you could say "i'm so tired," Billy yawned.
i hope that makes sense. i was having trouble putting my thoughts on paper.
@Lily
Oh okay! That does sound better, thanks so much!
@Desarose
Doctor name: Dr. Bradley; Dr. Jensen (Is is a guy or girl? Unless you are just calling them by their last name.)
Epic Battle: You could. Just a wild suggestion, but you could have one of them wounded or in a tight position, and then end the book. Then you could start a second picking up from there. It would make the readers want to read the second book, because they will want to know what will happen. Of course that is if you want to write a whole second book.
Humor: Just a thought, I don't know if you have servants serving Andrew or what-not, but if there is, Zack could offer to take Andrew's food to Andrew, because Zack wants a private talk with Andrew. But Zack knows nothing about serving, has trouble carrying the tray, spillls food........ do you get the picture? Just a thought!
I think you are doing really well!! Keep at it! I love how we are helping each other out. It is so awesome!
@NA
You book sounds really interesting just reading that little bit makes me want to read more!!
Suggestions: "It's Nathan!" she gasped.
Nathan pulled her away by the shoulders and gazed at her through soft eyes.
"It's so good to see you (again after such a long parting?)" I am not sure because I don't knwo why she is so excited to see him. Could you maybe explain?
and you too, my sister. (put a comma maybe)
in the last line in the first section, maybe instead of starting a new sentence with "And", put a comma instead of a period and make it one sentence.
I think it sounds awesome these are just some things I am suggesting, but it sounds totally fine without them!!
@Above
Ok guys now I need a little help on my book. In New Hope, Melanie is not a Christian. One Sunday when she goes to church (she is staying with a Christian foster family) the pastor preaches a sermon about Jesus, His Sacrifice, and just stuff like that that makes her finally realize what she is doing is wrong and that she needs to change and have Jesus in her heart, or else she will go the the Everlasting Fire (Hell). I am trying to write that sermon. I was wondering if y'all could give some suggestions on Bible verses I could use in it. Some strong, meaningful ones. Melanie is a tough girl and they need to actually get to her. I don't know if I am making sense, it is hard to describe what I want, but........
Zack & Andrew
Ok, this is the first part of the first chapter,
Chapter One
The Impossible Task
“WHAT? You refuse!” Zack stared coldly at his brother Andrew. “Of all the beastly things in the world, Andrew, you are the worst!” Andrew ignored his brother’s insult. “Home. Its cold out.” He said, turning his horse in the direction of the castle. Zack looked back at the little girl shivering as she walked back toward the row of untidy huts as the snow fell softly down. Rage boiled up in Zack. He glared at his older brother. “I dread the day you become king, Andrew! I have a mind to go against your wishes and help that girl!” Andrew looked at Zack with a smirk. “And go against our royal father’s command? I wouldn’t think that of you, Zackary.” Zack hesitated. He looked back at the little girl. Just before she turned the corner and disappeared, she looked at the two princes. Her green eyes flashed, and a deep scowl formed on her face. Then she was gone. Zack was infuriated with his older brother. “By our father's command, I am to respect your wishes.” He muttered. “But for goodness sake I am about to clobber your face in!” Andrew seemed not to care. He only turned and trotted his horse back to the castle. Zack moaned and buried his face in his black horse’s mane. “What should I do?” He whispered in his horse’s ear. He knew the beast couldn't understand a word that e’s was said, but he needed someone to talk to. “He’s so-so-mean! So arrogant! He thinks every things built on himself!” Zack glared at his brother. “Come on, boy, lets go.” He muttered to his horse. The two trotted back to the castle, Zack silently sulking all the way.
“Sire?” asked a voice. Zack looked up from his book. A servant bowed. “The king is asking for you, my lord.” “Thank you.” Zack set his book down, a little reluctantly, and asked: “Where is he?” “His chamber, Your Highness.” Zack left his room and walked down the passage. As he passed Andrew’s chamber, he heard low talk coming from inside. The door was shut. Zack didn’t bother about that, however. Whatever Andrew was doing didn't matter to him. Zack entered his father’s room. He saw the king, sitting at a desk writing. The king looked up, saw his son, and smiled. He took off his gold rimmed glasses, and said, “Zack, I need your help…”
Zack stood before his brother’s door an hour later. He took a deep breath, and knocked three times on the door. “Come in!” came the answer. Zack opened the door, and saw his brother sitting on the bed reading a book. His book. Zack got mad all over again. Calm down...calm down. He told himself. Zack took three deep breaths. Andrew didn’t seem to notice him, he was so into his book. “Andrew?” Zack asked, a little angrily. “Oh, you.” Said Andrew, not looking up. “Ok, you can just sweep the floor and get out. That’s all I need done for my room, and I want to have some peace and quiet.” “HEY!” Zack yelled. “Hold it right there. Andrew, its your brother, not a servant!” Andrew started. "Oh, Zackary!" Zack glared at his older brother. “We need to talk.” he growled ....
I've got all the chapter titles written out along with a three sentence summary of each one.
This chapter is called 'The Impossible Task ' , and these are the first paragraphs of the story.
What do you think? don't hesitate t tell me ANYTHING to make it better, please!
-Dessie
@Dessie
I think it is totally great! The first time I read it through I didn't see anything that needed to change. I will keep thinking! Awesome work!!
@ Riley
So, yeah, they have been separated for a sort of long time, because Priscilla and Patrick were taken to Rome as slaves and have not seen their family sense so maybe about a 5 year separation?
Pages